Twitterpated: adj., confused by affection or infatuation.

I hear you, Twitterers. Tweeters? Twits? I know you think people must join you or they will waste away in the new media landscape like zombies with no brains to eat. I hear your tweeting–

Here’s the thing. Do I have to call it “tweeting?” Do I have to say, “tweets?” “I ‘tweeted’ you this morning.” I’m sorry, I know the originators of this site are making a gabillion dollars every hour of the day and I shouldn’t be a snark in the face of such wealth, but…

Is it just me or does the language of “Twitter” sound a bit twee?  Like it was invented by a six-year-old girl? Not a cool grrrl girl, in a ‘Katniss Rules’ t-shirt listening to Paramore on her iPod while lessening her carbon footprint. But a girly-girl in a pink dress that she doesn’t go outside in because she doesn’t want to get it dirty. Her pink nail polish is from a Hello Kitty kit and she listens to Celine Dion’s “My Heart Will Go On” on continuous play. She ends every conversation with, “Tweet me!”

This will happen to me if I tweet, I just know it.

And then there’s the whole, tweet your tweet in 140 characters or less. That sentence was 70 characters long. Now I’m up to 122 characters. And, just after the ‘n’, 140. It goes by so fast. How can anyone talk so short? Easy. They cut out letters, even from perfectly time-tested words that need them for clarity. Or, if I were tweeting:

ctout lttrs fm wurds th need thm 4 clrty

Is this really making us better people? Better communicators? Better spellers?

No need to answer that last one.

Okay, I get it.  You can reach thousands of people instantly, it’s free and it’s an opportunity anyone looking to utilize social media would be bird-brained to pass up.  I’ll get there, I swear.  And when I do I’ll … send-you-a-message-in-less-than-140-characters-from-Twitter.

Fine.  I’ll tweet at you.

Just don’t ask me to chirp about it.

Next time on Devlin’s blog:
Websites That Win/Websites That Fail

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6 Responses to Twitterpated

  1. Michelle says:

    I tweet in mostly full and grammatically correct sentences. It’s possible! Plus, David Hasslehoff friended me on twitter to start his “Hoff” Army . . . I’m just sayin’ it has it’s pros. 🙂


  2. Great, witty post, Chris. I’m totally with you on the whole Twitter thing. Just saying the word sounds ridiculous. I’m already driven crazy by the cutting of letters and abbreviations of words in text messages. Maybe part of that is being a writer but I don’t think my brain (or my patience) is ready for a second helping of such mangled communication.

    I too one day will likely jump on the Twitter bandwagon, but not until I become a published author and only to inform fans of important things, such as when my new book is coming out, or if I’m going to a book signing. Who cares what I had for breakfast or what I’m shopping for? I don’t.


    • Chris Devlin says:

      Yeah, I’m going to do it, but I’m just not ready. Of all the social media or new media I’ve looked at in preparation for my website, Twitter scares me the most. It’s just so big and chaotic and with all the following and whatnot. I’m going to go slowly there.
      Michelle: I love that The Hasselhoff found you on Twitter. That right there is reason enough to hang with it.


  3. I don’t tweet, I write.


  4. Chris Devlin says:

    Cool. But at some point, I fear we’ll have to do both. Well, not HAVE to. But should.


  5. Pingback: Putting the ME in New Media; A Luddite Joins the New Marketing Technolution | Chris Devlin's Blog

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